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Write a conversation with Nelsan Mandela |
| Answer» Mandela:\xa0You look like an Indian version of Teddy Roosevelt.Gandhi:\xa0I know who this person is you’re referring to because I was probably alive either during or after his presidency.Mandela:\xa0I was definitely alive after his presidency. I am probably still alive.Gandhi:\xa0I’m definitely dead, but it’s not like I’ve been dead for hundreds of years, because there are photographs of me and photography has only been around for like a hundred years.Mandela:\xa0Yes, photography has been around for one hundred years.[Gandhi’s stomach rumbles.]Gandhi:\xa0Man, I am starving.Mandela:\xa0That is because you are doing one of your hunger strikes.Gandhi:\xa0I do these to prove a point of some sort?Mandela:\xa0Yes, it is called civil disobedience.Gandhi:\xa0And for some reason it is important to people that I eat.Mandela:\xa0Yes, for some reason people are very concerned when you don’t eat. I don’t know why.Gandhi:\xa0Apartheid was bad.Mandela:\xa0Yes, it was very, very bad, and now it is over because of me.Gandhi:\xa0Apartheid was a thing in South Africa and during it white people did bad things to black people.Mandela:\xa0I’m not positive about the specifics, but in situations like this, it’s always safe to assume white people were the ones being assholes.Gandhi:\xa0Same thing happened in India with me, I think. We had to defeat the white people and so I did a few of my hunger strike things and then the white people went away.Mandela:\xa0It was a big deal when I was released from jail and then became president. Then Morgan Freeman played me in a movie.Gandhi:\xa0I was played in a movie by an Indian guy even though he looks and sounds English.Mandela:\xa0Ben Kingsley?Gandhi:\xa0Yes?Mandela:\xa0Did you see\xa0Sexy Beast?Gandhi:\xa0Yes. That movie was pretty awesome.Mandela:\xa0The scene where he pees with no hands. You know, the Superman. Totally sweet.Gandhi:\xa0Have you ever, uh…?Mandela:\xa0Tried it with no hands?Gandhi:\xa0Yeah.Mandela:\xa0Once… Did you?Gandhi:\xa0Once. It went everywhere.[They laugh.]Mandela:\xa0Same with me. All over the place. Urine all over the place. | |