Originally I believe arranged marriages were designed to form a safety net. The choice of the groom and the bride was based on similar family backgrounds, culture etc so that the transition was smooth for all parties involved. Gifts were exchanged in an effort to make the new journey comfortable for the newly weds. Unfortunately over the years, these practical criteria became too sacrosanct to be questioned and arranged marriages have become something to be wary of.

For a woman, change of surname is synonymous with her world going upside down. Even the closest matches cannot guarantee that the girl will not be reminded of ‘her’ family's ways being different from theirs. And it is expected that the new bride should forget her ways and acquire theirs overnight. So the rajma (kidney beans) have to be of a particular tenderness with the right amount of curry and spice. And God up there has a sense of humor. He sees to it that if the girl's side likes it spicy then the boy’s side HAS to have bland food. And obviously bland wins. If the food is even a tad bit spicier, the family can charge the hapless bride for attempt to murder. A similar pressure is very rare for the boys.

This may sound hilarious but the mindset behind it is not so. If you scratch the surface of the best and amiable of marriages, you'll discover that the girl usually ends up losing some if not all of her individuality bit by bit.

With changing times, things are looking up but we still have a far way to go. Both the bride and the groom have worked equally hard to reach where they have. But still even if both are equal, the boy and his side are a ‘little more equal’