INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 , and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0 , NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1 ..

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail..

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.

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DEAR DESPERATE ,

FIRST, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment PACKAGE, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 . Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta .

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will EVENTUALLY seize control of all your system RESOURCES).

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7...
Good Luck!
Tech Support

LOL.I've seen this before several times, but I can't for the life of me remember where. I believe it might have been on rinkworks.org.


EDIT: this is one of my favourites:

Quote

I'm a tech support engineer for a software company. I had a guy CALL up rather annoyed that the disks we'd sent him containing the latest version of our software didn't work.

* Customer: "The install fails half way through. I tried several times, and it always fails at the same point."
* Tech Support: "Did you see any kind of error message?"
* Customer: "Yes."
* Tech Support: "What did the error message say?"
* Customer: "It said, 'Please insert Disk 2.'"
* Tech Support: "Have you got another disk there?"
* Customer: "Yes."
* Tech Support: "Is it labelled 'Disk 2'?"
* Customer: "Yes, it is."
* Tech Support: "Insert that disk into the drive, and click 'OK'."
* Customer: "Wow, thanks! That's fixed it. It's installing now. What was it, a faulty disk or something?"