This could be YOUR future.
This ought to MAKE you feel better about your computer skills!
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it..
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: ! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?
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This one and the next are our PERSONAL favorites!
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'
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And LAST but not least!
Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
truenorthThis is the reason why I loved using Crossloop for supporting people when I did 7 years of IT Support for a small food store CHAIN and users with laptops that could be connected from anywhere and call up with issues.

I'd simply e-mail them the link, step them through process to connect to crossloop, and then have them give me a 6 digit pin to connect to their system. Once connected I was able to take control of their system and fix the issue etc remotely.

Prior to this the help desk calls were just as you had POSTED, and a royal headache.

Most common help desk requests were users who were working on something and dont know where they saved their files. You then search their system for a good 10 minutes and then realize a search for *.doc is not showing any word documents created or edited today and they are unsure as to if they even saved it now that they think of it. And first place you looked is the recent documents listing with the word document not listed there. I even searched for *.rtf and other file extensions in case they saved it in a format other than default *.doc